Mary Tudor's Innocent Memories
by PrincessMaryJaneKOA
Summary: One shot song fic set to 'Field of Innocence' by Evanesense companion to 'Katherine Of Aragon was not a Homewreaker'


Author note: This is a companion piece to 'Katherine of Aragon was not a Homewreaker' yes this was inspired by ANOTHER you tube video! This is a song fic to

'Field of Innocence' by Evanesense.

November 17th 1558

Mary was dying.

Mary Tudor the one true heir to King Henry the VIII's throne, England's princess was dying.

Maybe Mary could have consoled herself to the fact that she was dying, practically alone and without her husband by her side if she had had a child, an heir to leave behind to help keep England safe. But in this one task even though she had the power of God behind her she had still failed.

She was certain it was because of the bastard usurper Elizabeth. Her so called sister, her baby sister, her only sister, who had sworn loyalty to Mary and her faith. When the entire time Elizabeth was nothing but a heartless pretender. A pretend Catholic, a pretend friend, a pretend Princess and what was perhaps the most painful betrayal of all, a pretend sister. Even now as she lay dying a lone tear rolled down her cheek for all that she had lost.

She had lost her husband to Anne Boleyn's daughter, she had lost Calais, and she had lost her child and heir for England, Mary Tudor, Katherine Of Aragon's daughter had lost the will to live. Closing her eyes she tried to remember happier times, her memories were the only thing she had left.

Jane Dormer the Queen's one true faithful lady in waiting and friend saw the Queen close her eyes and knew that it would be the last time she did so.

I still remember the world  
from the eyes of a child  
Slowly those feelings  
were clouded by what I know now

1526

_Mary was so excited, this was the first time she had seen her mother and father in many months. She was not summoned to court often anymore so this was a great day! When she arrived at court later that afternoon her mother and father had surprised her by coming out to greet her straight away instead of waiting until the formal gathering in the throne room. When the carriage pulled up and Mary squinting from the sunlight saw her parents and the court gathered outside to greet her she couldn't stop herself from squealing in delight and leaping out of the carriage. A few moments later she realized her behavior wasn't suitable for anyone let alone a Princess of Wales. She stopped a few feet from them scared that they would be angry. Seeing Mary's scared face Henry just laughed and in a few seconds had Mary in his arms._

"_Hello Mary" he laughed, his face lighting up with joy. "Hello my Darling daughter" her mother said coming over to them and hugging her tightly. When they had all exchanged greetings, Mary's household included. King Henry led them all into the throne room and presented Mary with a new gown of green silk, Tudor green._

1527

That was one of her last happy memories of her parents together. Soon after that was the start of her fathers 'great matter' so the next time Mary came to court it was quite a different story indeed Her mother was pale and tired looking and her father had lost his laughter lines and instead gained a thinning head of hair and an increasingly bad temper. Mary had assumed she was here for no other reason simply than her parents wanted her company. She, however soon found out about her fathers 'great matter', that he was seeking a divorce, to marry a girl named Anne Boleyn because Katherine couldn't have any more children. Mary was shocked to say the least how could her father do something like this? To set her good, Christian mother aside, make himself head of the church and seek to marry someone else into the bargain? It was unthinkable. Then came the final blow, Mary and Katherine were both being sent away, never to see each other or even write to each other again. She pleaded with her father to change his mind but to no avail. Her feelings of happiness at being her fathers only daughter and her mother's precious Princess were destroyed. She was England's Princess and her fathers pearl no longer. She could only pray that her father would change his mind and that she would see her mother again soon, I mean God was on their side wasn't he? He was always on their side. Mary was confident that her father would soon tire of Anne, when he got what he wanted. Until then Mary would have to wait, all she ever seemed to do was wait. But for now it was all she, could do, so Mary waited, just as Katherine and England were waiting. They were waiting for better times, times that must surely come soon, mustn't they?

Where has my heart gone?  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I, I want to go back to  
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

Early 1533

Mary wished she could reverse these past few years and go back to her child hood when her mother was how everything had changed! Henry had married Anne; they had had the bastard usurper Elizabeth and so the Princess of England was demoted to Lady Mary. Her father had even dared to command that Mary and Katherine take an oath acknowledging Anne as Queen and reducing Mary to the status of bastard. Her father may be the King but in this one thing Mary could not obey him. Surely he must know that asking her and her mother to take this oath went against God and everything they believed in! Mary was adamant that no matter what it would cost her she would not give in. She could not.

I still remember the sun  
always warm on my back  
Somehow, it seems colder now

December 1533

Mary arrived at her new home; if one could indeed call it that it was more like a hovel. She remembered the last time she had seen this castle so many years ago. Things had certainly changed. She remembered seeing this place on her way towards the court one Christmas.

" _Lady Salisbury what is that awful place?" little Mary had asked looking out of her carriage at Hatfield__._

_By all accounts it was a nice place but certainly not fit for a Princess of the Blood._

" _It is called Hatfield__, Princess," replied Lady Salisbury "But you must not worry about such things, after all it is not as though you will ever have to live there"_

But little did Lady Salisbury know at the time that Mary would soon indeed have to live there and serve her half-sister Elizabeth and while Elizabeth was treated as a Princess of the blood, Princess Mary was downgraded to Lady Mary it was all because of Anne Boleyn and that was something that Mary could not forget.

Where has my heart gone?  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I, I want to go back to  
Believing in everything

1554

Mary truly wanted to believe in Elizabeth. Although Elizabeth was the daughter of a witch, she was still Mary's sister even if she was illegitimate. But eventually enough was enough. After the Wyatt affair Mary had Elizabeth put under house arrest. With her councilors crying out for Elizabeth's death, Mary turned to the only thing she truly trusted, religion. She remembered all the good times she and Elizabeth had shared. Mary remembered singing to her in Spanish as a baby, sending her pocket money, teaching her to play the lute and spending the holidays together. But there were also many bad times, Elizabeth's refusal to convert to the Catholic faith, her constant implications in plots to overthrow Mary, the many rumors surrounding her and Thomas Seymour and the worst offense of all. Elizabeth was Anne Boleyn's daughter and while this was not her fault it served as a constant reminder to Mary of her father's disgraceful actions towards Mary and her mother, and that was something that she could not easily forget nor forgive.

Epilogue

This was the end of Queen Mary's life. At the beginning of 1558 when she suffered the loss of Calais she lamented that the words 'Philip' and 'Calais' would be found

inscribed on her heart when she died. But there were more words and though they were not included on her heart they would be forever connected with Mary for even though she tried her hardest to forget all that had happened to her in life 'she still remembered.'

Mary Tudor would always remember.


End file.
